


Rosary

by thirixm



Category: Death Note
Genre: And angst, Briefly mentions Beyond Birthday, M/M, Trigger warning: quick mentions of rape, fluff if you look close enough, sort of a character study based on headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 16:31:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14382582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirixm/pseuds/thirixm
Summary: "Genesis 19 is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah which was interpreted to be God’s law against homosexuality."





	Rosary

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know anything about the bible. Some things may be inaccurate as I only know so much. A piece was taken from The Chrysalids (because dear god do I love that book).

          Genesis 19 is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah which was interpreted to be God’s law against homosexuality.  
          His mother would remind him of this many times, speaking in the language he abandoned years ago, that the way he felt his attraction towards men was a sin of God, that the Lord will curse him if he does not repent for it, and the Devil will bless him – and they will not have deviations such as him in the household. He will get married to a woman and let her bear children to start his own family.  
          ‘Mihael,’ his mother spoke commandingly, a tone a true mother could only speak in. ‘Why must you look at another man such a way?’ She asked. Her tone grew then, harsher until she was scolding him once again about God: that the Lord never planned for two men and two women, and nor did He plan her child to grow up under the Devil’s shadow. That he shall pray tonight, and tomorow night, and the night after tomorrow until He has forgiven him, if He could forgive him.  
          Even after his prayers, he would be whipped until he understood. Fear injected into him every time, driving him further and further away from his emotions, and until there is nothing left of him except a numbing buzz.  
          Mello still pretends he strays away from his feelings for reasons other than his trauma. He blames the Wammy’s House for intensive studying, and the pressure of becoming the next successor. He finds that anything other than reminding him of his prayers and forbidden thoughts helped him cope. His parents no longer wanted him, and he no longer had anybody, until what he thought at first was the Devil, came into his life. It only turned out to be a sinner – but Mello had not cared at the time.  
          Even as they moved in grace, he could see the blood on his hands slowly build. Matt – Mail Jeevas – ripping his insides out.

          Genesis 4:8 is the story of how Cain killed his brother, Abel.  
          Genesis 4:10, the Lord said, ‘what have you done? Listen. Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.’

          And just like that, Matt’s bloodied hands smeared onto his cheek until his thumb brushed on the bridge of his nose. And taking his chin, lips crashed against his own. The bitter taste of red wine leaked onto Mello’s tongue where his darkest secrets will reveal themselves to him in their heated dancing. Two organs brush against each other through tight leather and ripped jeans.  
          To make himself relive the feelings he once had back in Yugoslavia was what he wanted to accomplish from it. No longer would he be commanded by his father to kneel and hope forgiveness is granted. Even if he had hoped it would turn out that way, panic quickly rose before he no longer could take it anymore.  
          Apologies of the sinner quickly after made no aid of his internal suffocation. Only guilt coursed through his veins, his mind blurring out apologies that continued on and on, but he never bothered to comment on his persistence. Slowly, however, it became annoying.  
          What bothered him the most was how he still pulsed inside. A need for satisfaction, yet he couldn’t grant that to himself as he didn’t deserve it. Oh, how he didn’t deserve sexual pleasure, yet he could not help arousal building back up as slim fingers tugged at his blond strands.  
          Mello whined, but Matt said, ‘Beg.’ and beg he did, words that strung together like a hymn that only drove the redhead further into his lust. . . .  
          When he looked down at his own palms, the youthful voice that recited quietly and unknowingly inside his head said, ‘And God created man in His own image. And God decreed that man should have one body, one head, two arms and two legs; that each arm should be jointed into two places and end in one hand; that each hand should have four fingers and one thumb; that each finger should bear a flat finger nail. . . .’  
          The more he looks at the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, there was not only homosexuality that was forbidden, but homosexuality rape, and rape altogether.  
          Not only was it a sin to go against the true image of God, it’s a sin to go against the attractions God initially intended. That is when he was at a lost. . . .  
          'You’re religious, aren’t you?’ Spoke the shadow. The Devil-blessed man standing in front of him inside a facility he knows too well as Wammy’s House. ‘Here,’ he said.  
          Redder eyes than he’s ever seen within sunsets, never has he encountered such a human. Two hands of his loomed over the boy to gently set a rosary around his neck. A rosary to protect him from the Devil, and enabled him to love God a little bit more. It became ironic as months turned to years, when he sits on his throne of the mafia, fiddling with the rosary of his gloved hand. A Devil-blessed man giving him a rosary. Questions arose if it was intended, but those questions never came to light.  
          Never will he live in peace, for the underlying fear of being shamed by current non-existing family members, and fear of being judged by the public eye still resides within him.  
          However, he’s grown the courage. He will bow his head down as he’s always had, say his prayers as he’s once done as a child who knew no better of himself.  
          He shall pray.  
          Solicitude for the feeble, and forever love and peace for the unhappy. For the lives of the self-righteous, and for them to see a new perspective of the world.


End file.
